I think I take my sanity for granted.

Have you seen "A Beautiful Mind?" A friend of mine this morning commented how spooky it is to think that even after John Nash underwent treatment, took the drugs, and went back to teaching...he still had that little kid and that college buddy following him around, despite the fact that he "knew" that neither existed. It's a reminder that just because someone with a mental illness has learned to deal with it doesn't mean it's gone. I suppose that shouldn't be so hard to believe...certainly the mobile and fully-capable folks who have found ways to overcome the obstacles brought on by their paralyis still sit in those wheelchairs every day...I guess I just figured that once you licked a mental illness...it was done. It's like, "well, now I know what reality is, so I don't ever have to think otherwise again." But it doesn't work that way.

A friend of mine was recently re-institutionalized with troubles relating to severe bi-polar disorder. He is a fantastic guy, and seems to be extremely intelligent and well-intentioned. He just can't seem to beat this thing. It's hard to watch, and I am confident that it is infinitely harder to have...especially if you don't believe you have a problem.

I am going to visit him today. It will be my first time visiting an inpatient psychiatric ward in a hospital. I've seen too many movies (e.g. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and "Silence of the Lambs") to have a positive image of such places, but I'm certain the reality is far more manageable than my imagination. And besides...at least I can leave.

I hope for my friend's sake that these doctors are good, and that the therapy and medicine works. It's hard to watch such a brilliant mind get held in check by such a disease.

Sorry for the downer...I'll write again soon.

Peace,
Justin