Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Transvestites make the best freaking moccachinos.



...at least, that's been my experience.

Yesterday, Stacy and I followed the advice of a good friend to check out the isolated little burg of Yellow Springs, Ohio. It's about an hour northeast of Cincy, and is the home to Antioch College, WYSO, and Dave Chappelle. It is also a little island of liberal thought in an otherwise uber-conservative state. The "downtown" area consists of about three blocks of shops, most of which sell batiked scarves and Indian jewelry and incense holders and....err-hmm...tobacco water-pipes. It's a little hippie paradise with a terrific record store, a tasty place to get a veggie burrito, and a lot of women with nose piercings. It was, in short, a very cool place to be.

It is also home to a very tall man who dresses in women's clothing as he serves coffee drinks at the Mermaid Cafe and Bookstore. He stands probably 6'2", wears a long brown wig, has yellowed teeth and a baritone voice, was donning a string of pearls and bracelet to match, and sported a flower-print dress that June Cleaver would have envied. He was very kind, well-spoken, and friendly...and he made a hell of a moccachino. (I'm referring to this person as "he," by the way, because I'm not certain if he would consider himself a "transvestite" [man dressing as a woman] or a "transgendered person" [woman stuck in a man's body]...and I never got to asking his name, because the only reason I wanted to know was out of morbid curiosity...and that seemed exploitative to me). He served several other customers while I was there, and nobody really had anything to say about it...or even seemed surprised or taken aback by this very tall man in women's clothing.

...and, for some reason...this made me feel quite proud of this little town.

I have heard Yellow Springs and its university anchor, Antioch, referred to as "progressive" on several occasions. This is usually spoken to mean "open-minded," "non-traditional," "having a diversity of thought" and...most accurately, I think, "liberal." That is to say, reflecting the values of social and political liberalism...

read as: ...save the environment, local business is better than big-business, the government can't be trusted, political activism is the highest form of patriotism, feed the poor, use less, live communally when you can, women should have the right to choose, being gay is just fine thank you, have a veggie burrito...etc., etc.

These things are called "progressive," implying that subscribing to these ideologies is more than just a choice that a person makes, for better or for worse...but that it is actual progress. That this an ascent of sorts...someone who lands on these believes has progressed from a less-evolved state of being to a more-evolved state.

...Here's where I'm headed with this.

I was proud of this "progressive" little town, with it's "progressive" little cafe run by a crossdresser, because I think deep down, I do believe that this is progress. I think I agree with those who call it "progressive" to have a town where a man can dress as a woman and still keep a job and still sell coffee and not be mocked or laughed or shunned day after day. Now, I'm certain that the guy at Mermaid's has had his share of ridicule...but I saw nothing but smiles and friendly faces buying books and coffee from him for the 90 minutes I was there. It was as if this was ...gasp... OK. And, that was heartening to me...it was encouraging.

I don't know whether or not crossdressing is morally wrong. I don't even know if that's a fair question. I think a better question is, "is it healthy for that person?" For instance...if his gender-identity issues had driven him to the point of suicide...and he instead opted to simply embrace his feminine side and dress as a woman in order to carry on with his life...it's hard for me to call that wrong....I'd call choosing a string of pearls and a pair of panty hose over a bullet pretty damned healthy. However, if he dresses like that in order to avoid dealing with some very deep hurt that needs addressing...if he's using it as a crutch to stave off the sense that he has to deal with the tough stuff of his past...then I would suggest it is unhealthy. Either way, I don't know that it's a matter of right and wrong...more a matter of what is going to bring this person closer to God and to his own personal mission.

If that's the case...and I'm perfectly aware that you may not be convinced it is...then why should he be ridiculed? Why should be shamed, ousted, or even encouraged to change his ways? To love people where they are, while still encouraging them towards the things that will bring them closer to God, seemed to be Jesus's way. I want to live that way. I want to live as a person who does not judge or condemn others, but helps them to discern what is most healthy and likely to reconnect them with God. Sometimes, this may mean a "tough love" approach of telling people that the choices they are making are not healthy, but I suspect that most advice needs to be worked out on an individual basis...not as a blanket rule of "activity x is morally wrong" or "activity x is morally acceptable."

It's possible that the guy working behind the counter at the Mermaid Cafe in Yellow Springs is living the healthiest possible life he can right now...and that that healthy life involves doing something I don't understand and can't possibly empathize with...dressing as a woman. I hope that I would always walk into a situation like that wanting to understand him first, and then, if allowed, to help him find whatever is most likely to bring him closer to God...without self-righteous judgement, without condemnation, without ridicule. To me...that sounds a great deal like progress.

Peace,
Justin





P.S. - Let's face it, I am quite judgemental...my previous posts should make that abundantly clear. I'm just judgemental about other issues. As much as I'd like to be the loving, Jesusesque guy described above...well, I'm not. But I'm working on it.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I don't claim to know much about politics.

Whatever it is that I might know about one political happening or another I learn in one of two ways:
1. By catching it on Morning Edition on NPR. Morning Edition is my way of both getting a healthy dose of intellectual-sounding words in my head before I get to work, and getting just enough liberal crap in my head to offset all of the conservative crap I hear on my radio alarm clock, which is tuned to AM talk radio. My hope is that I’m fairly moderate, or at least appropriately confused, before I get to work.
2. By reading the free New York Times or USA Today that gets left on the doorstep of my hotel rooms. I don’t know how they decide which one to leave me on any given day, but I’m starting to collect some quantitative data on that, and so far I have linked it to whether or not I rehang my bathroom towels.

And, true to my form, despite having a breadth of political knowledge that resembles a Necco wafer, I tend to spout off about it a lot. So, in that vein, here are my honest positions on issues that make people angry:

The Death Penalty: If I could write a slogan more clever than this one, which I saw once on a bumper sticker outside of a Catholic school, I would: “It seems wrong to me to kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong.” The death penalty is not a deterrent, it’s not a cost-saver, and the only person it seems to stop is the guy strapped into the chair. The defenseless guy strapped into the chair. The fact that we’re killing people based on our legal system, which is biased, influenced, affected, racist and flawed (as any legal system is) really really freaks me out. Since the birth of DNA evidence analysis, more than 60 inmates have been released from death row. Just… …think… …about… …that…

Abortion: For all of you who are waiting for this Christian to say something right-wingy and intolerant about how cruel and awful abortion is…
…you’re right on time. Abortion is cruel and awful. I’m a little mixed on situations where the mother’s life is in danger, because then it’s kill one person or kill another…but babies, unborn or otherwise, are people, and they deserve the same chance to screw up or champion their lives as the rest of us do.

Homosexuality: I don’t know if being gay is wrong. I think most gay folks are born gay, and I’m guessing a few other folks subconsciously become gay because of one reason or another, and very very few choose to be gay on purpose. The Bible says it’s wrong. My heart says it isn’t. So…what do you do with that? I’ll tell you what you do, if you’re me: you realize that if being gay is wrong then gay people are doing wrong stuff just like I’m doing wrong stuff every day, and that I’m no different…no better or worse or more loved by God or less loved by God…then they are. Bottom line. If you choose to be gay, then you’re a braver man than I’ll ever be…I can’t imagine all that you’d have to put up with. Point is, I’m not better than you are, and I’m no worse. You’re a child of God, not a gay child of God or a straight child of God. Go be gay, don’t be gay, but God loves you and I just the same.

Euthanasia: I respect people’s right to die, and particularly respect their right to kill themselves, so long as they don’t kill or wound anybody else in the process. I think your right to die and your right to your thoughts are just about the only two inalienable rights on the planet, and unless we can prove that you are mentally unfit to make any decisions about your own life or death (such as a jilted lover who, in a fit of depression, goes running to her GP looking for a lethal dose of sodium pentathol). If you’re a cancer patient who is struggling with the pain everyday…or even just a cancer patient who doesn’t want to fight it anymore and is ready to go home…and has carefully thought this out…by all means, Doc, make it happen. Seems contradictory to be so against the death penalty and abortion and so in favor of euthanasia, doesn’t it? The key difference is who is making the choice. I respect your choice to die, though I hope you’ve got a damn good reason.

The President: George W. Bush is a monkey. He is a magical monkey who learned how to talk. I think we should congratulate him. I don’t think he’s immoral…I just think he’s retarded. And not in a cute way, either.

The Bible: I like the Bible. I downright love parts of it. The Bible seems to be the richest fount of knowledge, spiritual insight and historical teaching I’ve read thus far. It tells the story of a man who I believe was/is God, and it does it through the eyes of those that knew him…or, if you believe the Jesus Seminar, those that knew the guys that knew the guys that knew him. I think it is God’s inspired word. With that said, I’m also not entirely sure it’s God’s infallible or uncorrupted inspired word. Every translation is an act of interpretation, and after 3,000+ years, the thing’s been screwed with pretty heavily. I’m not sure that every word in the original text is the inspired word of God, either…but I know that I’m not a competent judge of what is and isn’t God’s inspired word, and that I know that I’ve had parts of the Bible validated by my own first-hand experiences with God…so I know at least some of it is, and I’ve yet to find nonsense in there. The bottom line on the Bible is that it seems to know a hell of a lot more than I do, and if I use my own sense of right and wrong as my sole moral plumb-line, I’m going to end up a morbidly obese sex-crazed drug addict who dies in prison on a car-thieving rap after trying to steal the original KITT. So, I have to look somewhere else….I look to the Bible…but that’s not the end of it. I ask my friends. I ask people smarter than me. I check with my gut. It’s not a great system, but I’ve yet to go to jail, and as far as I know KITT is still in Orlando.

OK, so that was just six issues. But it’s enough controversy for one post. I hope you agree with me, because that means the world looks one more person just like me, which means I stand a better chance of getting a better mortgage loan. But, if you disagree, I hope you post and tell me why. And do it loudly, so I’ll be sure to hear.

Peace,
Justin