My Day As an Asian Man...

Yu Yuan Gardens Chinese Archt
Originally uploaded by silverlinedwinnebago.

It's kinda hard to blend into Shanghai, China when you're 6'2", pale as a blister, and wearing a solid white button-up.

Because of overcrowding on our research team, I "subbed out" today while the rest of the team went to do the research throughout greater Shanghai. So, I'm left at the facility in the middle of the city by myself, with 9 or so hours to kill. So, I did what any self-respecting white guy with a nigh-paralyzing fear of the unknown would do...

...I went out.

For those of you who are naturally oriented towards world-exploring in strange and unfamiliar cultures, this story will seem stupid and banal. For those of you who land somewhere in the middle, this story will just seem banal. But, for those of you like me, who automatically think "I wonder if I can find an English-language gameshow network on the hotel room TV" when you have spare time in an unfamiliar country, this story may be slightly inspiring.

...I spent the last five hours, by myself, wandering around downtown Shanghai.

Unfortunately, I sent all four of the cameras that I brought with me out with the research teams, so I don't have any photos to share of my adventures. So, I'll have to use my rapier wit, my cunning language, and my "descriptive words for dummies" tome to paint the picture for you.

As I stood in the elevator of the research facility, I knew I had a choice to make...I was either going to take the easy road and go back to the air-conditioned comfort of the Westin, or I was going to go it alone. I breathed deeply, walked out the front door of the World Trade Tower, and just started walking.

I walked for nearly an hour, peeking into shops and repeatedly saying "Bou Yow" (no thanks) to people who kept yelling "Hello sir! DVD, Bag, Watch, Gucci, Prada?" (The fake stuff black market is alive, well, and downright ubiquitous here). I navigated the streets, I figured out how the crosswalks work, and I dodged entire families piled high on little motorscooters as they weaved in and out of traffic without regard for signals or right-of-way. I exchanged currency, bought water, and asked for directions...all fairly complicated tasks when you don't speak Chinese and the vendors don't speak English. I meandered down the narrow alleys and back roads, ducking under laundry lines and passing fruit stands and lots of men smoking. I got pointed at and laughed at by little Chinese children, which is the furthest thing from offensive and actually quite endearing. (BTW: Chinese children may be the cutest children on the planet. If you have a degree in advanced genetic manipulation so Stacy and I can have one, please let me know). I chatted with old men who spoke English, I admired the waterfront and massive Chinese tugboats at the Huangpu river, and I met a guy who cuts paper and sells it to tourists (again, more interesting than it sounds).
I eventually picked a destination, the Yu Yuan Gardens, and spent another good hour looking for it. I eventually found it, after trading odd directional hand-gestures with several polite Chinese policemen, and paid my 30RMB (US $3.50) to go inside.

I can't possibly do it justice here.

The gardens were built during the Ming dynasty, and have continued virtually unchanged ever since. They are pristine, stunning, and intensely Chinese. It was like walking into a rice-paper painting...every bit as delicate and intricate. The halls and gardens had names which translated to "Hall of Mildness," and "Thoughts While in Silence." The goldfish were huge and odd and, somehow, just as Chinese as their surroundings. People were quiet and respectful, and the loud, bustling city around disappeared among this architectural and horticultural masterwork. My eyes watered with awe throughout...I literally dumb-struck...I didn't speak a word for nearly two hours as I wandered the gardens. It stung deep to not have my camera with me, but the experience will showcase in my brain-movies for years and years to come.

I left the gardens in a sort of Buddhisty trance, and felt lifted and washed.

I was also hungry and desperate to pee...and toilets and English-friendly restaurants have both been a bit elusive here. I pushed and excuse-me'd my way through the throngs of Chinese New Year celebrants in the Yuan district, and eventually found a cafeteria-ish thing with tons of food and a restroom. Score.

I have no idea what I ate. I'd like to guess, but it would be pure speculation. The meat thing seemed to be cooked-animal-kabob, but it didn't taste like any animal I've eaten before. The soup involved a grain, and the drink was either watermelon juice or some kind of coffee. I had the honor of coining the international symbol for "where can I sit to where I'm not looking directly into the sun," and, again, got laughed at by Chinese children. I ate in courage, and, in some ways, I ate in victory.

As I walked back to the hotel, I met a Chinese "friend" (read: guy who pretends to be interested in Americans so he can take you to a hole-in-the-wall store in order to sell you cheap crap), followed him to a tea shop, and chatted for some time about Buddhism, communism, and what a great deal I could get on a genuine Rolex.

(I am now the proud owner of a $40 "genuine" Rolex...it was more about the experience than the having).

As I walked back to the hotel, my feet hurting and my chintz-bag in tow, I felt victorious. I had, in some ways, beaten my fear and done something scary. I couldn't wait to get here and share it with you.

Today was a big day for me. I'm growing.

Peace,
Justin