I always presumed that I would be a good writer...I don't know why, but my whole life I have presupposed that, when given the proper outlet, I would be able to write successfully, and with style.

In college, that "proper outlet" usually meant term papers and essays, but because they came with a given fit-to-mold five-paragraph structure (and don't forget your page numbers, kids), I was able to tell myself, "aaah, you can't be expected to write brilliantly with these kind of constraints. You just wait until you have the time and the medium to REALLY express yourself." Then I got to my job at the church, and I thought, "aaaaah, you can't be expected to write brilliantly with these kind of constraints. You've got to censor your stuff for a church audience, and besides, you don't want to write too flowery for a 3-minute video. You just wait until you have the time and the medium to REALLY express yourself." Then I got this blog last week, and I started coming in really early to work so I could write in it. Now I have the time and the medium. ...hmmm...

As it turns out, I am not intrinsically a brilliant writer. In fact, I am a mediocre writer...about as good as a 24-year-old is probably going to be. I've got this wonderful blank canvas facing me at 7:30 in the morning, with nothing saying I CAN'T pen the finest words ever written in the language...but, apparently, I am not equipped to do so. Hehehe...I suppose I should have learned by now that what I seem to THINK I can do and what I can really do are often two different things, and that ANYTHING worth doing well takes a lot of practice. I'm assuming that even the greatest writers required some practice...that's why they have all those books out on how to write. If it was all an issue of natural talent, those books wouldn't sell very well.

Anyway, all this to say, I look forward to improving. I'm not entirely unhappy with the way that I write...I think it is, at best, a rudimentary jotting of reasonably well-formed thoughts at a time when my coffee and my eyelids are fighting for dominance of my brain. I look forward to looking back on this blog, or on a journal, or on the post-its, or on whatever it is I write over the next five years, and see some sort of improvement.

On a related note, I ran a 10:00 mile this morning. Actually, it was a 9:56 mile, which is barely moving for most runners, but for me is a tremendous accomplishment. As a recovering fat guy with a penchant for wheezing and a tendency to get too hot too fast when I excercise, I am more than proud of my 9:56 mile. It is this kind of growth (a half mile almost killed me a couple of months ago) that suggests to me that, someday a long time from now, I may write something that really is very good.

In the meantime, read Randy Bohlender's blog at rbohlender.blogspot.com. That guy can write...

Peace,
Justin